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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

   It has been forever and a day since I have done this.  I have thought about doing it..... And probably you have missed some really good and life changing thoughts from me..... but I have forgotten whatever they were.....!  No surprise to my children!
     Jack turned three on Sept. 13 and Owen turned 10 (!) month on the 15th!  Where has time gotten off to???  They are the light of my life.  Both can make me cry with how much I love them.  It is such an overpowering feeling, that is until Jack is at my house and I put him in time-out.  Then the 'teacher' voice part steps in.  But I still love him, love him, love him..
     Owen is still little (well sort of - he weighs 20 lbs and is tall for a little guy) and when I am at their house and it is time for him to have his bottle that is suppose to lull him to asleep, Molly hands him over and says "I 'get' to do this all the time..."  So we sit in his rocker and his head is up against my chest and his legs almost touch the floor, and all I can think of is that this little part of his life is coming to an end....  Luckily, he likes to snuggle, and hopefully he will continue to do so while I get weaned from holding him like that. He is a speed crawler, especially if Jack lays something down or is eating something.  Then he can hardly get across the room fast enough.
    So how does all of this have to do with Dancing with God?  I have seen bumper stickers, etc,. that say something about it is worth having kids just to get the grand kids...  I would agree!  I have loved Molly and Kat so hard, and just loved them and loved them.  True, Kat heard the teacher voice thing more than Molly, But they been the lights in my life before I ever even held them.  When Molly got pregnant,  I was like the 2nd time almost-mother who thinks' I love my first SO MUCH, will there be enough love for this one?" I didn't need to worry, there has been plenty more and then some.
     OK, back to dancing with God.  He seems to be so very present in my life.  In fact there have been times that I have wanted to ask Him to go and poke around in someone else's life for a bit.  I have restrained myself.
     Don't get me wrong, I like to dance with Him, although I get scared during the part where I am not in control, which is all the time.  What will be the next step?  Where will it take me? Will there be a cliff where I will have to jump over with a leap of faith.  I hate even thinking about that, but I know from experience He will be down there to catch me, or at least have an ambulance waiting.....
    I haven't enjoyed some of the paths I have been led on - very stony, with a steep learning curve in the hot dry weather. And how does this connect this whole page???
     I am not sure.  But my guess is that each time I am with my family, I am with those who continually teach me love, and encourage me to get out of my box that sometimes I hide in , and participate in the lovely dance of life He has put in front of me, because He loves me.